


What He Needs.

by kuriositet



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-23
Updated: 2012-06-23
Packaged: 2017-11-08 10:02:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/442009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuriositet/pseuds/kuriositet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not about what Frank wants the most, or what he loves the most, but what he needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What He Needs.

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2009. First posted on LJ and later DW.

It's cold, and dark. Frank is outside on the porch, a cigarette dangling from his lips as the the smoke rises into the air, dissolving. He shivers, the late spring night being colder than he had expected, wearing nothing but a pair of dark colored briefs.

The moon is full, a white shimmering lighting up the darkness along with the stars. It's just enough for Frank to make out a few toys that are strewn across the front lawn: a small bike and a little helmet nearby, a soccer ball and an old worn out doll.

All of them belong to his daughter, the doll being a gift from her dad. _One_ of her dads, anyway. Technically, she's had three, but the girl was all too young to ever be aware of her first one. Frank's husband, Bob, who died two months after their daughter was born. Four years ago, now.

Bob had bought the doll for her the day after she was born, not caring about her being too young to play with it. He wanted her to have it, to see her play with it when she got older, but he never had the chance. Frank always made sure it was her favorite toy, though, letting her play with it as often as possible. It was his way to keep Bob there, to make him a part of Emmie's childhood, even though he had been killed in a hit and run accident.

He puts out the last of his cigarette in the ashtray by the door, throwing a last glance at the doll before going back inside. He goes to the kitchen and drinks a glass of water, trying not to look at the calendar they put in the kitchen to keep track of Em's activities and school stuff.

Tonight's date is May 26th. Bob died May 29th. Sighing deeply, Frank sets the glass down by the sink and leaves the room, intending to go back to bed. But, on the way back to his bedroom, he passes his daughter's room with the door ajar, and he can't resist going inside. Sitting down on the edge of her little bed, he reaches out and carefully brushes he blonde locks out of her face. The same shade of blonde Bob's hair was. She has his blue eyes too, but the surrogate mother's nose.

In Frank's eyes, she's the most beautiful little person to ever have walked the earth, followed closely by Bob, and then Gerard.

"I wish your dad could see you now, honey. He'd be so proud. You're so beautiful, so much like him," Frank whispers, barely even registering the lonely tear that falls down his cheek. The little girl just sighs happily in her sleep, clutching her teddy bear closer to her chest.

He leaves her room as quietly as he can, continuing to his own bedroom where he also tries to be as silent as possible, but fails as the door creaks. The sheets ruffle as Gerard stirs on the bed, and before Frank has had the time to close the door again, the small light on Gerard's side of the bed goes on.

"Frank?" Gerard's voice is raspy from sleep, and he yawns loudly as Frank closes the door and climbs into the warm bed. "You're cold," Gerard murmurs as Frank snuggles close to him, burying his nose in Gerard's sweet scented hair.

"Yeah. I was outside. Needed some fresh air."

"Fresh air, huh?" Gerard says skeptically, and Frank sighs. "I thought you were gonna quit smoking?" Another sigh. Frank knows that Gerard just wants him to be well and all, but he doesn't need someone to act like his mother right now. He needs a boyfriend, lover, fiancé, _husband._

"I will, next week." It's Gerard's turn to sigh, but at least he reaches out and turns off the light, leaving them both in the dark. "I love you," Frank whispers, rubbing gentle circles over Gerard's chest.

"I love you, too, y'know?" Gerard grasps his hand lightly and kisses the top of his head.

"Yeah." Frank knows; he had always known. Gerard really did save his life when they met, six months after Bob passed away. For the first few months they were just friends, and right off the bat, Frank felt that he could really rely on Gerard. He was the friend he had needed all the time, and the fact that he really didn't mind babysitting every now and then didn't hurt.

After six or seven months of just being friends, Frank was the one who decided to take their relationship up another notch by kissing Gerard. Though, even if they had sex that night when Frank had first made his move, nothing really changed from that for a while. What mattered was that Gerard was everything Frank needed, and available exactly when he needed it.

He was also there to act as a second parent for Emmie and, although Frank hated the thought of having someone replace Bob, it was what was best for his daughter. They have been together for almost three years now, and Gerard asked Frank to marry him six months earlier, on the anniversary of their first meeting. Frank had said yes, after thinking about it for two days and trying to talk it through with Emmie.

He loves Gerard, so much, but he knows—Gerard probably knows it, too—that he will never love him like he loved, and still loves Bob. He can't help it.

There's the order again. Emmie comes first, Bob's second and Gerard is third.

Gerard is still holding his hand against his chest when Frank falls asleep, rubbing his thumb softly, letting Frank feel the steady pulse of his heartbeat, lulling him to sleep with his soft breathing. It's what Frank needs right now, like it's always been.

Gerard will never compare with Bob, but he's what Frank needs, and that's all that matters.


End file.
